Challenge: Distinguish Reality from Satire

So the Nobel Peace Prize is given to someone currently overseeing a bloody war of occupation; you don’t need me to explain the hilarity of this. But fortunately, more hilarity has come forth from this event.

At first I thought the best satirical response I’d seen was this: “In other news, the Nobel Prize for Literature was awarded to a man who set fire to a library and then promised to write a book about it.”

That only narrowly beat the headline “Analysts Warn Obama’s Peace Prize Complicates War Efforts.”

But they were all blown away by this: “Obama should accept this prize not for himself, but on behalf of the army.”

Yes, that’s right. It has now been recommended that Obama should say “I cannot accept this award on my behalf at all. But I will accept it on behalf of the most important peacekeepers in the world for the last century — the men and women of the U.S. Army, Navy, Air Force and Marine Corps.” The Nobel Peace Prize is now to be given to the military. The next step, surely, is to ceremonially re-name it ‘ministry of peace’ – though ‘ministry of defence’ is halfway there already.

In other “reality indistinguishable from satire” news, compare:

I’ll have no hoes! No, no, noes!
Hoes with clothes? No, no, noes!

Hoes at shows? No, no, noes!
Hoes with piercings in the nose and hoes with eyes for all the bros?
No, no, noes!
Hoes who ask for a rose and hoes where fem’nist theory grows?
No! No! Noes!
I’ll say it now before I go:
This bro will never love a ho!


Bitches on my nuts like clothes
But I’m from the pound and we don’t love them hoes
How could you trust a ho? Why? Why? Why?
Cuz a ho’s a trick
We don’t love them tricks. Why? Why? Why?
Cuz a trick’s a bitch
And my dick’s constantly in her mouth
And turnin’ them trick ass hoes the fuck out.

One of the above is satire written by a radical feminist and posted at iblamethepatriarchy; the other is the lyrics of a popular and successful mainstream song. Can you tell the difference?

And finally, I have been tagged in a meme (hopefully I’ll recover soon) by Missives from Marx, compelling me to reveal something that readers would not have guessed about me. Ummmm…would it be a surprise to know that in my ‘day job’ (in philosophy) I hardly study or discuss political philosophy at all? (Nobody is allowed to say that would have guessed that…)

Oh, or that I once went straight from having forearm-length hair to being entirely shaved-with-a-face-razor bald?

12 Responses to “Challenge: Distinguish Reality from Satire”

  1. Cam Says:

    I can tell the difference. A mainstream song wouldn’t have any references to feminist theory, or “fem’nist” theory.

  2. Db0 Says:

    Oh, or that I once went straight from having forearm-length hair to being entirely shaved-with-a-face-razor bald?

    Pics or it didn’t happen 😛

    Which length are you now then?

  3. Lindsay Says:

    The doggerel from I Blame the Patriarchy is also written with a meter and rhyme scheme like Dr. Seuss’s “Green Eggs and Ham.”

    Not sure many mainstream songs would be either that whimsical or that literary.

  4. Lindsay Says:

    [W]ould it be a surprise to know that in my ‘day job’ (in philosophy) I hardly study or discuss political philosophy at all?

    Yes, it is mildly surprising! Can I guess what you *DO* study/talk about? Is it epistemology?

    (I think I do have you beat for Educational Background that Totally Fails to Predict What One Blogs About, though! Degrees in biochemistry and English literature, and a blog mostly about feminism and disability rights. I took one political-philosophy class in college, one of the two philosophy classes I’ve ever darkened the doors of. And absolutely no women’s studies, disability studies or anything like that.)

    I once went straight from having forearm-length hair to being entirely shaved-with-a-face-razor bald?

    Whoa, radical. (I much prefer long hair, the longer the better, but I wouldn’t blame you for getting sick of the upkeep. I’ve got waist-length hair myself, and periodically consider getting a buzz cut.)

  5. Lindsay Says:

    And for satirical responses to Obama winning the Peace Prize, my favorite so far was one appearing on the letters page of my local newspaper: “The American President is awarded the Nobel Peace Prize the same day America tries to blow up the moon!”

  6. Alderson Warm-Fork Says:

    “Pics or it didn’t happen”

    “Can I guess what you *DO* study/talk about? Is it epistemology?”
    Only a little. Metaphysics mainly.

  7. Db0 Says:

    Facebook links make Baby Cheezus cry. Also it didn’t work 🙂

  8. Alderson Warm-Fork Says:

    Indeed, it did not. If you can find another picture of me being shaved on the internet, link me, otherwise I’m out of ideas.

  9. Db0 Says:

    Well, you *could* try to give a proper link or simply copy the image and paste in on 😉

    Also I will need to see the long hair, otherwise it doesn’t count 😛

  10. Colm O'Connor Says:

    Dunno if it’s true, but I heard that it was nobel institute policy to give the peace prize to warmongering assholes who had the potential to turn into even BIGGER warmongering assholes.

    That is, I assume, the rationale behind kissinger, arafat, et al. getting it. Hitler was also nominated. None of them especially nice people.

    As a tactic, it might well therefore save more lives than giving it to people who justly deserve it (supposing the people who get it are disincentivized from being bigger assholes). As in “holy shit I can’t do this I’m a nobel peace prize winner”. Or something.

    Dunno if it works. No way to tell, really.

  11. Alderson Warm-Fork Says:

    Hmmm, now that is an interesting possibility, but it seems like even if that did work, and was the policy, it would have to be kept secret, if the prize is to have the meaning (and hence the effect) it’s supposed to have.

  12. Colm O'Connor Says:

    Well the nomination of Hitler, and the winning of Arafat and Kissinger aren’t exactly secret. To be honest, it *should* make people believe that winners and nominees are grave threats to humanity. I’m not entirely sure why it doesn’t.

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