I was recently browsing ‘Face Book’ and was reminded in a very obvious way that patriarchy is everywhere. 
See, there’s this thing on facebook for ‘fans’ – there are pages set up for various artists or bands or whatever, and people can register as ‘a fan of’ them. And of course, sometimes people make other things into fan-able items. Hence I noticed that facebook was informing me that:
“2 of your friends have become fans of I love sex!“
Bemused, I clicked to see who had joined. It was typical facebook fare, people posting with bad grammar and long discussion threads with titles like “Funnyest SEx Story!” and “What’s ur favorite position and why!!!?” And there were several pages of pictures, mainly of people who were, in somebody’s judgement, “sexy”. Some of them were cute, lovey-dovey things, like shown to the right.
Then I noticed, on the first page of photos, this:
If we can stop laughing at the hilarity of the idea of symbolising the male and female genitals as a screw and a nut, respectively, we might note that this picture conspicuously depicts, um, rape. The guy is chasing the woman; the woman is running away. He is happy (indeed, drooling with anticipation), and she is not at all happy. She doesn’t want to have sex – that’s why she’s running away. He doesn’t care – that why he’s chasing her.
So here, in the midst of a group dedicated to “I love sex”, is an image of rape. And how had people responded? Well, the comments were:
“looooool”
“hahahehehehehahahohohohaha”
“xaxaxaxaxaxa”
“someones gonna get screwed”
“Creative isnt it ????”
Two people had clicked the box for “like it”.
So apparently, no-one batted an eyelid. Nobody said “no, we love sex, not rape – they’re very different”. This isn’t a kinky porn website for people to indulge a specific interest in power-exchange or pain play. This was just a random group where people who “loved sex” had got together. And in order to convey that they “loved sex”, this group, comprising both men and women, had put up a picture of rape and laughed at it.
Ha! Lol! Good one! It’s a picture of rape! We like that, because we love sex! Sex is rape! Rape is sex!
March 18, 2009 at 19:26
Men have developed all sorts of excuses for this as well. “Women want to be chased” blah blah.
Very well pointed out.
March 18, 2009 at 19:37
Excellent point, perfectly illustrated.
March 18, 2009 at 22:42
Oh, I missed your blog.
You know, engineering textbooks talk about ‘male’ and ‘female’ parts, fueling this sort of imagination. So it’s not just on the obscene corners of the internet that this shit is happening.
March 22, 2009 at 21:40
It’s amazing the way that we ignore images of rape because we have so internalized the idea that men have a right to female bodies. When we call out that the image supports violence against women we are silenced. We need to stand up forcefully and call this out for what it is. It is not a laughing matter.
March 22, 2009 at 22:53
Freethinker – there is an obvious reason for that, namely that e.g. a nut (female) accepts a bolt (male). There’s nothing humourous or sexist about it.
March 28, 2009 at 21:22
It reminds me of Pepe LePew cartoons or those “humorous” images of cavemen carrying big clubs and dragging cavewomen by the hair, which just strikes me as to how old and ubiquitous these kind of images are.
July 30, 2009 at 17:41
That is some sick shit! I recall the other day having a conversation with a outed chauvinist who, on the topic of rape, said, “Well, I would tell a woman walking out alone at night that she shouldn’t be wearing that short mini skirt,” while comparing us to property (ie windows and doors to be shut) nevermind the fact that rapes happens to EVERYONE; men, women, children and even animals. Even if we lived in a world where rapist were attracted to short miniskirts, just as we don’t lock our kids up to be kept from being kidnapped by predators who go for children or men aren’t taught to stay inside for fear of rapist who exclusively rape MEN, women shouldn’t be taught to be treated and act as property (ie stay indoors, don’t come out) for fear of big bad rapists. Yes we need to be taught to DEFEND ourselves, but not to impede our rights to “accomodate” the sickness of those predators just as we wouldn’t tell a child to turn into an adult in order to keep from being attractive to a child predator or a man to turn into a woman to “turn off” a would be rapist of men. As a matter of fact, I recall having a conversation with a misogynist who once said that men “are all about controlling the power (pussy) that women have over them.” People need to stop using the crime of rape to perpetrate anti-woman beliefs and desires. A man can control it just like I can control my anger and not bash him upside the head for throwing out his sexist remarks. What they say ahs nothing to do with real rape. A real rapist is someone who – like a murderer – gets off on killing a person from the inside by violating them and thus controlling their lives. Sorry for the soapbox, I just had to vent.